There is something important I really want you to know. I am not sure what you will think about it. Yet I think it is so very important that we talk a minute.

 

I am working for you all the time and you are probably unaware of that. I work with a team of expert professionals and we are all working for you, and you might have no idea. We ask people about something.

If something happens to you, what do you want us to do?

 

You know how the Red Cross makes sure that there is an emergency blood supply available for you if you need it? We are entrusted with making sure there are organs and tissues available if you need them. In my area we are called "Gift of Life Donor Program." Our challenge is, our donors can't get a baby sitter and run over to a church or school and donate. We cannot actually talk to our donors. We can only talk to their family about them, after they die.

 

 

One day in our office parking lot a woman stopped a group of us. She wagged her finger at us and said: "If anyone says no to donation I want you to tell that family this. The day came for me when the casseroles and the phone calls stopped coming. Then the only thing that got me out of bed in the morning was that on the worst day of my life, my baby girl saved five people."

 

The unimaginable thing had happened to this mother. Her 17 year-old daughter had died. This mother, hours after receiving this news, had said "yes" to helping complete strangers through organ donation. It gave her something good to think about in the sad days after her daughters’ death.

 

That is how we work for you. We were the ones that asked that mother.

 

If you or your family member were on a waiting list for an organ transplant the day she died, that 17 year old and her generous mother might have saved your life through transplantation. Imagine how thankful you would be for a gift like that.

 

 If you ever need an organ transplant and you live near my team you live in the most generous area of the country. People say yes to organ donation all the time to us here. You may not hear about it because the thing is, we cannot ASK many people to donate. It is rare to "qualify." So it is unique and special for a family to even be asked.

 

One hundred people might die and we might only be able to ask one or two
families. Ninety eight people out of one hundred will not even qualify. So if your family is asked, they should take a breath and time to think. This is the most important question they might ever get, at the hardest time to be asked anything. Your family might be the only family to be asked this question this week, this month, or even this year, depending on the hospital. Rare.

 

Your family can choose to take someone's life in their hands. Maybe up to eight someone's. I hope you told your family what you wanted to make it easier.

 

Why is it so rare? It is because you are most likely able to donate if you have
a devastating neurological injury that actually has caused your death,
and you are on a breathing machine while your family gets that news from the Medical Team.

Technology and a breathing machine can keep your heart beating for an extra day or so when you, or your family, say that it is okay. That extra day or two on a breathing machine is powerful time.  Life saving time. It gives births, weddings, fishing trips, proms, parents, grandparents, children, and bowls of strawberry shortcake with whipped cream back to others. You know, life things. Precious life things.

 

If you or your family has said, "yes" to donation, it takes non-stop work to find recipients for the gifts you can give. If you are on a waiting list, be amazed and relieved and encouraged. There is a team of dedicated professionals behind the scenes. We actually get burnt out sometimes, missing our own lives while we try to save yours. Just the other day I arrived at a hospital at 8 AM and I did not leave until the next day at 1 PM. Twenty- nine hours of work in a row, no sleep. I worked on behalf of three children and a wife that loved a generous, kind man who died, and they knew he would want to help people. I worked for the people and the families he saved. In the world of transplant these long days happen all the time. Transplant Coordinators and Hospital Transplant Teams are this dedicated across the country and they are working for you 365 days a year.

 

We manage these hours because there is something about working with your family at such a delicate time. It is so rewarding to get to know your family and walk them through how you can give life, even as everyone is so very sad about your death. We manage because we meet recipients all the time. We manage because we gain momentum and we become an expert about you, the generous loving person that might be a donor. We actually create a thick chart that is almost like a book, about you.

 

If a medical crisis happens to you, your family will be in crisis as they hear of it.

Your local transplant experts will be contacted by the medical team. We will arrive at the hospital, no matter the hour or the weather. We will leave our children on their Birthdays.

We will arrive and we will wait and try to determine the best time to ask your family. Most of us will have a certain sense of nervousness. We do not know what your family will say. We are the only ones that represent the unknown families that are counting on us to save the lives of the ones they love.

 

We all want to do just what you would want us to do.

 

This is how important you are. Across the country there are surgeons who are some of the most precise and talented and sacrificing beings on this earth. They have incredible skill. In every state across the USA there are magnificent, dedicated teams just like ours in Philadelphia. And we all can do nothing for anyone unless you or your family chooses to give the gift of life.

 

If something happens to you, what do you want us to do?

 

Melissa Regan CPTC

 

  Sometimes very meaningful words can cross your path. You file them away and never really consider how they have affected you. Back in the day we would copy something out by hand, or cut it out of a newspaper or magazine. Now we click and save. Last week I had an old newspaper clipping come back for a visit. 

My eyes filled with tears as soon as I saw my son reading it, and I was not sure why. I could not remember what the clipping was. I knew that it had been important to me when I first read it. I had glued it into his baby book when he was an infant. That is a very busy time of life, and yet I had taken the time to cut it out and glue it in so I would not forget. 


I had gotten his baby book out on my birthday. It was also his birthday, and he was now the same age I was the day I gave birth to him and held him in my arms for the first time. He was my first child, the one that created the mother I was. Now he is a man and he is such a love of mine.

“This isn’t you at all, Mom. This isn’t you.” His face looked so serious.

What important thing had I forgotten decades ago? The strips of newspaper were starting to turn yellow.
It was a little scary.
I reached for the book.  

 



TO MY GROWN UP SON

My hands were busy through the day

I didn’t have much time to play

The little games you asked me to.

I didn’t have much time for you.

I’d wash your clothes; I’d sew and cook,

But when you’d bring your picture book

And ask me please to share your fun,

I’d say: “A little later, son.”

I’d tuck you in all safe at night

And hear your prayers, turn out the light,

Then tiptoe softly to the door…

I wish I’d stayed a minute more.

For life is short, the years rush past…

A little boy grows up so fast.

No longer is he at your side,

His precious secrets to confide.

The picture books are put away,

There are no longer games to play,

No goodnight kiss, no prayers to hear…

That all belongs to yesteryear.

My hands once busy, now are still.

The days are long and hard to fill.

I wish I could go back and do

The little things you asked me to.”

Author Unknown



Unknown mother with deep regret, you may have written this decades ago and be long gone from this earth and yet what a gift you gave to me. I hope you were a hovering angel when my adult son said; 
"This isn't you at all, Mom. This isn't you."  

Comets smell awful. Isn't that profound? I heard that on NPR yesterday.

The robotic space probe "Rosetta" was built and launched by the European Space Agency. Rosetta and "Philae," its lander module, are performing a detailed study of comet 67P/Churyumov–Gerasimenko. And the comet smells awful, like ammonia and manure and dead things.

I picture a comet streaking through the sky and looking beautiful... And yet it's light does not come from within. It's light is just the friction of its dark mass. It is bleak, without light or warmth. And now we know it smells bad.

And yet here WE are. We have birds here.

There is an amazing bird called the Stork Billed Kingfisher. I have only seen a photo, and in case I do not have the right to show the photo, let me draw him in your head. His beak is striking. He has a bright red, long, almost "flashy" beak. I am sure it is not just for show; it is probably the perfect tool for this bird to use to eat and fashion his nest. He arrived here with it. He has a soft brown head, a sunny yellow breast, and a gorgeous jade green wing. That is beauty enough. But he also has a sky blue tail! All this splendor looks like he could sit in your hand. Isn't he amazing, that he even exists? That he arrived in a smooth oval egg?

Did you ever think that nothing had to be colorful, smell good, or sound harmonic? All is so right in the world, really. We are such funny human creatures that we mess it up so much. The world around is NOT ugly and harsh in so many ways. Why, there is music and art in every bird. Our dogs and cats have unique personalities and are actually a comfort to us. We have mountain peaks, vast oceans, palms and pines, desert sands and shifting icebergs. Never mind the gifts and amazing grace of our fellow humans. The gifts, and amazing grace, of our magical planetary companions. You know, all those warm beings filled with light that shines from within.

We could live on a bleak, comet-like smelly planet near the sun. But we do not.

How do we not awaken every morning with our eyes drinking in the beauty all around? How do we not gather like the Who's on Christmas morning in Whoville, clasping hands and raising voices and ringing bells in celebration. How are we not like Ebenezer Scrooge Christmas morning, marveling at all with glee. We arrived with tools! Most of us have all of them, still! We can see and smell and taste and touch. We have unique gifts on a most beautiful planet with amazing things all around.

If I see you suddenly

dancing on the sidewalk,

or singing on the subway

or smelling honeysuckle with your eyes closed

or holding hands with a n y o n e

or looking at a tree with your hand on your heart

or wiping a tear away at the site of a fresh sun rise, a beautiful omlette, children on swings, a couple laughing together, the bow of your kayak gliding past a heron, a fire truck racing by with clinging firemen to assist in an emergency, the sun gliding away to end the day, an infinite night sky of twinkling stars

If I see you wiping a tear away over a stork-billed kingfisher...

I will know why.

(If the photo of the beautiful bird is present, it is from Dipankar Bakshi Photography, their inspirational Facebook page, "We Love Birds." Obviously they inspired me. Treat yourself to the beauty they capture!

A special thanks to our cousin Maryann, who posts beautiful birds and other things all the time.) ❤️